Yokels, Get OUT!

If I have to wait for one more Cletis exiting the 405 to gather enough courage to merge with Wilshire traffic, I'm going to scream! There's a solid line there! You're not supposed to cross it! You're supposed to turn right and keep straight until the line breaks, THEN start making your lane changes. Don't just sit there and wait for Wilshire traffic to die down so you can make your three lane changes stress-free. I don't care how little time you have to make it to your left turn on Veteran. Grow some cajones and GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Look, I'm not an aggressive driver, but I will assert myself if I have to make three lane changes within several hundred feet. I do it all the time. In fact I got so sick of waiting for one of these namby-pambies that I went into the right lane to bypass them, which meant I had to make four lane changes instead of three. But guess what. I did it! I made all of my lane changes in time to turn left on Veteran and I did it in the pouring rain where my visibility was compromised. It may have been foolish, but I did what I had to do and I didn't back up the entire Wilshire off-ramp in the process.

I don't get it. If you're too afraid to change that many lanes in such a short time, make a right on Veteran and then do a U-turn. Or just keep straight, make your left when you can, and then back track. Do ANYTHING but sit there! Why do these people drive like they've never been to the "Big City" before? I see nothing but California license plates on these cars. Where are they from? Yuba City? Wheatland? Needles? Happy Camp (WTF!)? Some other town I had to Google because I never heard of it before? (BTW: I'd bet my life-savings the people in that last town enthusiastically refer to themselves as "Happy Campers." smdh)

Are these the same people who insist on driving slowly in the fast lane? Ugh! Now there's a class of cretins conspiring to raise my blood pressure. I don't understand the mentality of driving 40 mph in the fast lane. What would ever possess anyone to choose the fast lane of all things to take their leisurely stroll? Are they clueless about what that lane is for? Are their speedometers malfunctioning? Are they distracted by their cell phone conversation? Are they eating? Drinking? Filling out a crossword puzzle? Are they concentrating on their
executive board presentation? Are they practicing for a movie audition? Are they making sure no one holds them up even if it means holding everyone else up? Did they--for variety's sake--draw from a hat to choose which lane to drive in and the fast lane was the lucky winner? Do they want a closer view of traffic headed in the opposite direction? What is it!

And since I'm in a complaining mood, what is it with pedestrians who don't push the button to cross the street and then stand around looking perplexed when they don't get the "walk" signal? I swear, if I don't see them push the button with my own eyes, I'll always walk up there and push it myself. I don't care how closely they're standing next to the button. If I invade their space or come off as distrustful of their common sense (or lack thereof), TOUGH!
I can't just trust these people. There are too many bumpkins walking and driving around this city for me to take any chances. I just wish to God someone would clue them in and tell them if they can't function properly in an urban environment, they should make like Changing Faces and G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T.!

ARG!!!